everything is overbearingly depressing as of current. I have so much regret in my head constantly, I cannot and do not feel happy about any option I have ever made in my life. I’m so distraught thinking about how badly I have fucked things up for myself by being a depressive, disgusting, impulsive piece of shit.
Relying on my intelligence is the only thing that has gotten me this far, I have no more depth. I have an exam at 8:30am and I have not bothered to put the effort into caring because I mentally can’t. I fucking can’t. Me being so fucking challenged is beginning to REALLY set me back. I’ll fail this fucking semester, have to redo it all next year, add another sem to my degree. I’m fucking a mess in thinking that. I cannot handle failure, and my intelligence is the one aspect I have always relied on for success. I’m not bound by anything else. I’m a useless piece of shit. Make it fucking stop, i don’t know how to help myself.